CULLEN VZ: THE BIG BAD CAMPING TRIP
by XCarlie.CullenX
Summary: SEQUEL TO ONE NIGHT TWO TEAMS MANY DISATERS! THE CULLENS GO CAMPING WITH SOME REALLY BAD RESULTS. 7 VAMPIRES 1 HUMAN NATURE ALCOHOL FIRES SUPERHEROS MYTHICAL CREATURES INTERNET BLOGGING/IM? OOOOOH NOOOOOO! R&R FUNNY! :D
1. THE NIGHT BEFORE

**IF YOU READ THIS BEFORE CULLEN VZ: ONE NIGHT TWO TEAMS MANY DISASTERS YOU WILL BE LOST!! NOW READ THAT FIRST!! FANKOO**

**PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU READ MY STORY:**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT! STEPHENIE MEYER CEATED THAT AMAZIONG WORLD!**

**I DO NOT OWN BATMAN, OR ANY OTHER COMIC BOOK CHARACTER!**

**I DO NOT OWN ITALY**

**I DO NOT OWN THE TV SHOW SUPERNANNY!**

**I DO NOT OWN MANY THINGS I OWN MY IMAGINATION THAT CREATED THIS RANDOM CRAP!**

**SO IF PEOPLE WANT TO PUT STUPID REVIEW TELLING ME THEIR REPORTING MY STORY AND HOW CRAP IT IS THEN GO RIGHT A HEAD!**

**I AM BEYOND ANNOYED AT THIS COMMENT FROM The Ninth Layer **

**THANK U SOOO MUCH FOR PISSING ME OFF.**

THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO: **MASENCULLEN**

WHO ALWAYS REVIEWS EVERYTHING! YOU MAKE MY DAY! SO THANK YOU SOOOOOOO MUCH!!

&

**KELSEY602 **WHO REALLY MADE ME SMILE WITH YOUR AMAZING COMMENT! THANK U!!

**_CULLENZ VZ THE BIG BAD CAMPING TRIP_**

**_CHAPTER 1_**

**_THE NIGHT BEFORE_**

_RECAP: WHAT HAS HAPPEND TO THE CULLENZ/HALEZ/VOLTURI/TANYA/MIKE&LAUREN/JAKE SINCE WE LEFT THEM:_

_It's been a few months since the task night and things are pretty much back to normal, well Bella was over ruled by Jane, Alec and Lauren(who is now happily married and vamped but still hold a candle for Jasper) in Volterra, so now Edward, Emmett and Bella are back in Forks. Bella and Emmett both attend AA meetings to get over their problems, this seem to be having NO effect on their drunken lifestyle. Charlie is still a vampire but is taking an extended leave until he gains control over his new thirst, Bella is deeply upset but understands(the GIN helps). Esme and Carlisle have worked things out with many hours of professional help. Jasper, Rose and Alice are relatively unscathed. Aro had a nasty split up with Larry and is now back ruling Volterra. Larry is, actually I don't know what happened to him. Mike Newton died in a freak DIY accident to ALL police reports(of course vamp Charlie fakes these, he wasn't going to charge Bella with murder) and he is sadly missed(PFFT). Jacob returned from Transylvania with no memory, Edward knows he's lying about his memory loss and likes tormenting him about his time with Caius. Jake still remains good (secret)friends with Count Dracula and Van Helsing and they send eachother post cards. Tanya is back in Alaska under the safe eyes of her family, she is plotting revenge but getting nowhere. The town of Forks is untouched by these events. Cullen's still attend school as though nothing has happened, it is thought to be in every ones best interest that NOTHING is brought up._

Now back to the now. Emmett felt the need for a hoilday and suggesting they actually try camping. Carlisle agreed that it could be a good bonding exercise and they are set to leave for 7 days where they shall be one with nature. Oh no.

**_DAY: THE NIGHT BEFORE_**

**_FAMILY MEMBER(S): BELLA/EDWARD/EMMETT_**

**_PROBLEM: HUMAN OR ALCOHOL? DAMN HARD CHOICE._**

Edward: "Bella love, you need your sleep. What are you doing in the bathroom anyhow?"

Bella: "Nothing. *says quietly to her vodka bottle* I'm going to miss you baby, I promise I SHALL return, nasty Eddie won't hurt you"

Edward: "Who you talking too?"

Bella: "No one, your so paranoid Edward. *again to the vodka bottle*Mr.V run before he see's you and spills to down the drain, RUN I SAY RUN!"

Edward: "BELLA PUT THE BOTTLE DOWN AND GET TO BED"

Bella: "NOO RUN MR.V NOO! NEVER SHALL I PART WITH MY TRUE LOVE!"

Edward: "IM COMING IN"

Bella opens the door and makes a run for it with Mr.V in her arms, Edward shocked at her response is slow on the up take.

Bella: "EMMETT SAVE ME!"

Emmett: "Bella whats going on? MR.V?"

Edward: "This is getting out of hand! Emmett get away from Bella."

Emmett: "IM NOT PROTECTING BELLA! CAN I DRINK HER?"

Bella and Edward look at Emmett.

Emmett: "FINE LET ME RE PHASE. CAN I DRINK HER AND THEN SPONTANEOUSLY SING WITHOUT LOOKING STUPID?"

Edward: "Bella just go to sleep, we have a long week ahead of us. Mr.V will be safe with Emmett."

Emmett: "Yes, saaafe."

Bella: "Okay, goodnight I love you."

Edward: "I love you too."

Bella: "NOT YOU DIPSHIT, MR.V! You don't give me the pleasure he does, stupid moral vampire."

**DAY: THE NIGHT BEFORE(10 MINUTES AFTER THE ABOVE ARGUMENT)**

**FAMILY MEMBER(S): ALICE/JASPER**

**PROBLEM: BLAME SUPERNANNY**

Jasper: "Alice we're going camping all of this really isn't necessary!"

Alice: "Can you see the future Jasper?"

Jasper: "No"

Alice: "THEN DON'T TELL ME WHAT WE NEED FOR THE FUTURE!"

Jasper: "Your evil"

Alice: "What you say?"

Jasper: "You might see the future but your hearing sucks"

Alice: "WHAT? ARE YOU ANSWERING ME BACK?"

Jasper: "No. *mumbles under breath* stupid control freak"

Alice: "THATS IT YOUR GROUNDED! GO TO YOUR ROOM! YOU HAVE A 10 MINUTE TIME-OUT"

Jasper: "I am in our room."

Alice: "DID I SAY OUR ROOM? YOU KNOW WHERE I MEAN!"

Jasper: "Buuut I doon't waaaanna go to the closest!"

Alice: "Well now maybe you'll think before you answer me back"

Jasper: "Yes Mrs. Cullen- Whitlock" *Jasper goes to his time out closet*

**DAY: STILL THE NIGHT BEFORE(WELL ACTUALLY THE MORNING NOW) 9 minutes since the above.**

**FAMILY MEMBER(S) ESME/CARLSILE/ROSE/EDWARD**

**PROBLEM: WHAT DO GET WHEN 2 VAMPIRES AND HUMAN PLAY HEROES? YOU GET THE HELL AWAY FROM THEM!**

Esme: "I think this will be fun. To be one with nature and all"

Alice: "Nature comes any where near me and it will be one with my expensive boots"

Carlisle: "We will leave at 9 sharp, get set up. Remember on your best behaviour. NO VISITORS FROM ITALY THANK YOU"

Edward: "OO YOU SAID THE FORBIDDEN AND NOT TO BE SAID UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES 'I' WORD!"

Carlisle: "Enough Edward, we shan't dwell on past times"

Rose: "Where's Emmett and Jasper?"

Alice: "Jasper's finishing his time out and Emmett keeps changing his mind, so I don't know wha.."

Alice/Edward: "OH NO."

THEY HEAR COMMOTION UPSTAIRS AND ALLOT OF SHOUTING AND SCREAMING AND SINGING....

Emmett: *Singing the Batman theme tune he burst through the wall leaving an Emmett shaped hole* "BEHOLD I AM HE, VAMPIRE-BAT MAN!"

Jasper: "AND I AM BLOODRED ROBIN!"

Bella: "I DON'T WANNA BE BAT GIRL, I LOOK STUPID!"

Emmett: "SURE GIVE YOU LITTLE RED RIDING COSTUME AND YOU ADD FANGS BUT BAT GIRL IS STUPID! AND HEY DO YOU THINGY!"

Bella: "DUUUNA DUUUNA DUUUNA BATMAN!" *Shes shinning a hand held tourch with a black bat sticker on it*

Emmett: "THAT SOUNDED LIKE JAWS! Remember when we watched that during our day of from the 'regin of pain' in Italy"

Carlisle: "DO NOT MENTION ANYTHING FROM THAT NIGHT!"

Emmett: "Italy was fun, man I miss Volterra!"

Carlisle: "EMMETT CULLEN, STOP TALKING NOW"

Emmett: "WHAT? I do the have these amazing onion rings you could get from this cafe just out side of our kingdom. DAMN JANE!"

Rose: "EMMETT YOU DON'T EAT!"

Emmett: "BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE TO EAT DON'T MEAN I DON'T!"

Rose: "WHEN DO YOU EAT? THE MR. I LOBE ONION RINGS"

Emmett: "Those oreo's you found on our bed, NOT BELLA! ME HAHAHAHA!"(**A/N: I WAS WATCHING TWILIGHT MOVIE AND EMMETT IS ACTUALLY EATING IN THE CAFETERIA SCENE PMSL!)**

Bella: "THEY WERE MINE, YOU STOLE THEM!"

Emmet: "WELL DON'T TEMP ME WITH ALL THEIR MINTY GOODNESS!"

Edward: "EMMETT, WHAT?"

Carlisle: "Right lets leave this at that, before anything else is done/said/killed okay?"

Jasper: "These tighs are riding places! and squashing my manly bits"

Alice: "THAT BECAUSE THEY'RE MINE!"

Emmett: "Carlisle?"

Carlise: "Yes Emmett?"

Emmett: "Do you know any jokes?"

Rose: "YEAH EMMETT, YOU!"

Carlise: "ROSE! Yes Emmett why?"

Emmett: "You want to play a game?"

Carlisle: "Sure, what is it?"

Emmett: "WEAR THIS!" *hands Carlisle a joker outfit from the hit film THE DARK NIGHT"

Edward: "Bella lets get you back to bed before this gets crazy" Edward walks over to Bella who starts screaming*

Bella: "OOOOH NO ITS THE RIDDLER! RUN MY FELLOW SUPERHEROS!"

Edward: "WTF?"

Jasper: "Lets go to the BATMABEAL! Or Emmett's newly painted black jeep to be precise!"

Esme: "I'm not saying a thing...."

**_WHAT YOU THINK ????_**

**_LOOVE THE IDEAS!! KEEP THEM COMING!!_**

**_PLEASE REVIEW!!_**

**_FANKOO XX_**

**_REMEMBER MY FAVOURITE REVIEWER(S) WILL GET THE NEXT CHAPTER DEDICATED TO THEM!!_**


	2. DAY 1

**_ALL YOU WHO ASKED FOR A NEW CHAPTER:_**

**_megan159- THANK YOU_**

**_kitty9308-THANK YOU_**

**_carefulositopeace-THANK YOU_**

**_kelsey602-THANK YOU_**

**_1pepsi1obsessed-THANK YOU_**

**_Emmett's-girl-10105-THANK YOU_**

**_needia13-THANK YOU_**

**_sammy169-THANK YOU_**

**_masencullen-THANK YOU_**

**_mrs cullen ldc-THANK YOU_**

**_xteamxjasperx-THANK YOU_**

**_awsometastic twlight jasper-THANK YOU_**

**_I DID TRY TO THANK YOU ALL OF YOU BUT I KNOW I MISSED SOME OF YOU GUYS!_**

**_YOU REALLY MADE MY DAY!_**

**_DISCLAIMER: I DONT OWN TWILIGHT/BLAIR WITCH PROJECT_**

**_

* * *

_**

**_Chapter 2_**

**_DAY 1(part 1)_**

**_DAY: 1. 08:00_**

**_FAMILY MEMBER(S): CARLISLE/ESME_**

**_PROBLEM: HE TOOK GROUNDED A LITTLE TO LITERALLY.._**

Carlisle: "Last night was interesting"

Esme: "How do you get an 80 year old, teenage looking goofball to grow up?"

Carlisle: "We could ground him?"

Esme: "EMMETT GROUNDED? REMEMBER THE LAST TIME WE TRIED THAT?"

Carlisle: "REMEMBER? I'M STILL REBUILDING THE SECOND GARAGE!"

Esme: "He's a rare one. The craziest thing you've ever done would be creating our second son"

Carlise: "You can say that again. Ready to go?"

Esme: "Camping should be... erm.. whats the word?"

Carlisle: "Canceled?"

Esme: "Too late now. It will be nice I suppose and since we have the keys to their veachile and frozen each of their bank acconts, I don't think they will do anything to extreme."

Carlisle: "We hope!"

**_DAY: 1 08:05_**

**_FAMILY MEMBER(S): EMMETT_**

**_PROBLEM: IT'S EMMETT NEED I SAY MORE?_**

Emmett was hiding in his 'vampire-bat' cave A.K.A. the attic when he stumbled upon a video camera....

Emmett: (to the camera) "Welcome to Camping with the Cullen's. I am your host Emmett 'loves his bears' Cullen. Now we are due to leave for an unknown place in 10 minutes and the Cullen house is alive with conversations, we shall now investigate."

Emmett leaves the attic filming every step of the way.

Emmett: (still to the camera) And we arrive at Edwards room, where batgirl my human sidekick and drinking partner and Eddie 'needs to get some' Cullen are talking."

Edward: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING EMMETT?"

Emmett : "Documenting our experiences!"

Edward: "PUT IT DOWN THAT THING!"

Emmett: (Again to the camera)"Obviously Mr. Grumpy Fang isn't so pleased with VAMPCAM, lets go see what my vertically challenged sister and Alice is up to"

Emmett brages into Alice and Jaspers room to find it empty.

Emmett: "Damn physic!"

Rose: "EMMETT COME ON WERE LEAVING!"

Emmett: "Until next time dear viewers. Sleep tight don't let the bed-vamps bite. Mwhahahaha" *Camera goes off*

**LATER THAT DAY:**

Bella: "Are we there yet?"

Esme: "Almost dear"

**2 MINUTES LATER**

Alice: "Are we there yet?"

Esme: "Nearly sweetheart"

**3 MINUTES LATER**

Rose: "Are we the yet?"

Esme: "Not long Rose"

**1 MINUTE LATER**

Emmett: "Are we there yet?"

Esme: "Soon"

**2 MINUTES LATER**

Edward: "Are we there yet?"

Esme: "not long now"

**5 MINUTES LATER**

Jasper: "Are we.."

Esme: "IF YOU ASK IF WHERE THERE YET, I WILL KILL YOU"

Emmett?: "Cool you made Jasper dry cry!"

**3 MINUTES LATER**

Carlisle: "We're here kids"

All: "ABOUT TIME"

**DAY: 1 12:06**

**FAMILY MEMBER(S): EMMETT/BELLA/JASPER/EDWARD**

**PROBLEM: MOVE THOSE PILES OF STONES, I DARE YA!**

Emmett: "Great were looking for fire wood, so basically were ona suicide mission!"

Jasper: "I knew the human would be the death of me!"

Bella: "HEY!"

Jasper: "Come on vampires add open fire, how do you expect that to end?"

Bella: "hahaha"

Emmett: "That's the plan all along! to kill us! EVIL EX VOLTERRA QUEEN!"

Carlisle(in the distance): "NO ITALY TALK"

Emmett: "Hey look what I found!"

Bella: "Whaaaat. OUCH!"

Edward: "Bella love did you fall over that pile of rocks?"

Jasper: "There's 8 piles of rocks, that's strange. In the middle of the woods. mmm"

Emmett: "Hey look at this strange doll shaped thingy made from sticks that's hanging from this tree!"

Edward: "Their everywhere. hey this doll thing has fangs!"

Jasper: "What does that sign say over there?" *Points to a distant sign*

Bella: "WELCOME TO BLAIR"

Emmett: "BBLLA BBLAA BLAIR?"

Bella: "Yeah why? Hey who's that?"*Bella points to an approaching person*

Emmett/Jasper/Edward: "WITCH!! ARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!"

all the boys start screaming and running in different directions.

Bella: "GUYS? WTF? WHO IS THAT?"

The 'witch' reveals herself.

Bella: "GUYS COME BACK ITS ONLY ANGELA!"

CHECK OUT MY STORY **CHALLENGE ME SAVE ME**! ITS GOOD!(I HOPE)

**SORRY I KNOW THIS CHAPTER SUCKS! KINDA ON A BUMMER! SORRY!!**

**PLEASE REVIEW NICE THINGS!!****THANK U**

**XX**


	3. NIGHT 1

**_ALL BELONGS TO STEPHENIE MEYER!!_**

**_THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO: _**

bigbrock95

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SWEET COMMENT!!

**_Chapter 3_**

**_Night 1_**

**DAY: 1 18:52**

**FAMILY MEMBER(S):**

**PROBLEMS: RUN RUN FOR YOUR LIVES... EMMETT LEAVE THE SQUIRREL ALONE.**

Rose: "Where have yuo been Bella? Where's the boys?"

Bella: "Haven't the come back yet?"

Alice: "No! You weren't with them?"

Bella:"They ran off screaming, didn't you hear them?"

Rose: "Those high pitched girly screams here our BOYS?"

Bella:"They though they saw a witch!"

Esme: "Why don't you go find them before it gets dark and you know Edward has his nightime problems. Why do you think the real reason he stays with Bella at night?"

All three girls start to giggle and head out to find the *coughs* men.

Alice: "Guys look what I found!"

Alice holds up Emmett's "VAMP-CAM" and rewinds whats been recorded.

It's showing Emmett and Jasper messing around about 3 years ago...

Jasper: "Emmett is this thing on?"

Emmett: "Is the red light flashing?"

Jasper: "Yeah"

Emmett:"Then its on"

Jasper: "Hey hey watch this. IM SO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT"

Emmett: "Do this !" *Emmett starts sexy dancing and striping off his shirt, Jasper joins in*

Both: "I'M TO SEXY FOR MY.."

Edward: "What you guys doing?"

Both: "Edward watch this" *Jasper and Emmett start sexy dancing again now taking their trousers off, this time Edward joins in*

All: "I'M BRING SEXY BACK, ALL YOUR MOTHERFU.."

Carlisle: "WHAT IN GODS NAME ARE YOU DOING?"

All: "Carlisle watch this" *Jasper, Emmet and Edward start sexy dancing all now in their boxers and this time Carlisle joins in*

before the tape goes any further its cut to tonight's events, Emmett screaming running through the forest

Emmett:( to the camera) "I'm scared, I don't know what that was. A creature I've never laid my eyes on. The fur and its viciousness. I fear for my life right now. OOOH NOO I SEE IT! DAMN THERE IT IS!! AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH LOOOK AT ITS TEETH!" *the camera drops to the floor showing two pairs of legs walking towards the camera*

Edward: " EMMETT GET OUT OF THE TREE, ITS A SQURIL!"

Emmett: "Ooo Is it eatable?"

Jasper: "Get down, Lets go play a trick on the camp!"

*The screen goes dead*

Rose: "And I love that man!"

**_BACK AT CAMP:_**

Carlisle: "Come Esme the kids are gone! Just a quickie!!"

Esme: "I'm not in the mood!"

Carlisle: "Please I'll do anything!!"

Esme: "CARLISLE MY ANSWER IS NO!"

Carlisle: "Fine I'm going for a walk" *Carlisle storms out of the tent*

Esme: "Honestly for a 300+ man you act like a 3 year old, just because I wouldn't play scrabble with you!"

**_MEANWHILE AT AN UNKNOWN LOCATION:_**

Edward: "ANGELA PLEASE TURN THE LIGHT ON!"

Angela: "Edward this whole I'm going kill you, won't work if I be nice to you"

Jasper: "So why do you want to kill us?"

Angela: "I don't want to, it's just your in the woods and you kinda messed up my stones! DUDE YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE STONES"

Emmett: "BUT IT WAS BELLA WHO FELL INTO THE STONE, TAKE HER!"

_**WHAT YOU THINK?**_

_**PLEASE LEAVE ME SOMETHING NICE TO READ!!**_

_**THANK U XX**_


	4. DAY 2

**_ALL BELONGS TO STEPHENIE MEYER!!_**

**_THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO: _**

awsometastic twlight jasper

THANK U!!

* * *

AS YOU MAY KNOW THIS STORY WAS FLAMED, I REPLIED AND GOT A GOB FULL OF ABUSE BACK, FOR A WHILE THIS BOTHERED ME!! THAT'S WHY I HAVEN'T UPDATED! UNTIL I REALISED I DON'T CARE ANYMORE! FLAME THIS STORY SOME MORE, I SHAN'T REPLY! SO :p( SO GROWN UP OF ME)

SOME POINTS:

I LIKE CAP LOCKS! YAY!

I DONT EVER WANT TO BE A WRITER!

YES I AM BRITISH ON AN AMERICAN SITE( SUE ME)

AND I DON'T BLOODY CARE!

STEPHENIE MEYER OWNS I JUST ADD CRAP! DON'T OWN FAN FICTION EITHER! OR POTC, JAWS OT TITANIC!

ENJOY THIS, SORRY IT SUCKS!

**_Chapter 4_**

**_day 2_**

**DAY: 2 08:00**

**FAMILY MEMBER(S): ALL CULLEN'S FUTURE CULLEN'S AND CULLEN HATERS**

**PROBLEMS: BURN BABY BURN. HUMAN 1 EMMETT 0**

Esme: "So where did you find the boys last night?"

Carlisle: "Cowering in a cave by the river"

Esme: "Did they say what happened?"

Carlisle: "Nope. They were quiet,well except for Edward's occasional girls shrieks about the dark!"

Esme: "My poor baby"

Carlisle: "Whats the plans for today?"

Esme: "I'm not sure, the girls wanted to try water activities"

Carlise: "That sound like.."

Esme: "Suicide" *They here a huge crash outside the tent*

Carlise: "Set me on fire and call me Fred, what was that?"

Esme: "It's Jasper, hes gone into overload again screaming, noooo!"

Carlise: "Hes read Alice's story!"

Esme: "What story?" *Carlisle hides laptop and the story hes reading and enjoying*

Carlise: "I DON'T KNOW...."

_*15 minutes earlier*_

**TENT: EMMETT'S/ROSE**

Emmett: "That bitch! I'm going to give her a piece of my mind!"

Rose: "What is it now?"

Emmett: "Someone called BITEMELION has flamed my work on !"

Rose: "What? You write fanfiction? What she say?!"

Emmett: "Yes I wrote about my experience with Italy! Now I started about our camping trip! She said: THIS SUCKS! YOU SUCK! YOU'LL NEVER BE A WRITER. BOO HOO. THIS IS A SCRIPTFIC, IM REPORTING YOU, YOU EMO! DELETE THIS NOW!! ARGH!!!! "

Rose: "And this bothers you why?"

Emmett: "No need to be so mean! I was only having fun!"

Rose: "Your a 80+ year old vampire and this little girl is hurting your feelings?"

Emmett: "YES! IT DOES!"

Rose: "E-mail her back!!"

Emmett:" GOOD IDEA! now she shall feel my wrath, mwhahahaha!!"

**TENT: BELLA/EDWARD**

Bella: "THAT MORON!!"

Edward: "What?"

Bella: "I flamed YOUAREWHATYOUEAT on and hes sent me an e-mail back!"

Edward: "What he say?

Bella: "YOU MORTAL GIRL ARE MEAN, I SHALL TRACK YOU DOWN AND MAKE YOU PAY! MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

Edward: "Why'd you flame him?!"

Bella: "BECAUSE I KEEP THE RULES AND ENFORCE THEM ON PEOPLE, HAHAHA! HIS STORY MADE ME OUT TO BE DRUNK, WOLF ABUSING, DRUGGED UP, VOLTERRA QUEEN!"

Edward: "THAT HAPPEND THOUGH! Thats just sad beyond words get a life!! who else have you flamed?"

Bella: "SEEINGYAFUTURE, FEELINGYA, ALLHALEME, FALMINGHAWTJANE AND IHATECARLISLEBYARO"

Edward: "That is just really I cant find a word to suit how pathetic that it, why am I marrying you?"

Bella: "HEY! OMG!! Ive been reported!! "

Edward: "By who?"

Bella: "SEEINGYAFUTURE"

Edward: "That bitch.."

**TENT: ALICE/JASPER**

Jasper: "What you doing?"

Alice: "Reporting Bella on "

Jasper: "Why?"

Alice: "She flamed my story"

Jasper: "What story?"

Alice: "UUUUMMM it's a romance fic about people"

Jasper: "What people?"

Alice: "Vampire people, it's okay we don't know them"

Jasper: "Let me see!"

Alice: "Noo it's okay" *Jasper snatched laptop and reads SEEINGYAFUTURE'S" I REALLY LOVE CARLISLE! DON'T TELL JAZZ!"

Jasper: "ALICE THAT IS.. ARGH.. I NEED TO.... SMASH.. KILL.... ANGELA IM COMING...... DEATH IS MY ONLY WAY OUT"

Jasper runs into the wood turning green, mmmmmmm anyway he manages to smash the trees, cars, boulders, cliffs on his way back into the woods!

**MEANWHILE IN VOLTERRA:**

Aro: "Go to new story, upload new story, new story created. Yay. 101 WAYS TO KILL CARLISLE. Perfect, oooh new review!"

**[ff review: 101 WAYS TO KILL CARLISLE] [FROM FLAMINGHAWTJANE]**

Aro get a life, you've tried ALL of them and none of them has worked, get over it.

**REPLY:**

JANE NEVER USE MY REAL NAME, CODE NAME REMEMBER!!

**I'M FROM FLAMINGHAWTHJANE:**

SORRY, AROY.

**BACK TO CAMP AND THE CULLEN'S HAVE TAKEN THE DAY TO TRY OUT WATERSPORTS!!:**

Esme: "Who's brilliant Idea was it to allow Emmett a paddle boat of his own??"

Carlise: "His human accomplice"

Alice: "What are they doing?"

Edward: "Playing titanic"

Rose: " Great, how very 90's of them"

Alice: "Now its turned into JAWS!"

Edward: "EMMETT NO BITING!!"

Rose: "BELLA NO BITING!!"

Esme: "What's happening now?"

Alice: "Jasper's returned on a boat"

Carlise: "This could take awhile shall we hunt as they play pirates of the Caribbean?"

All: "YES!!"

**_THIS REALLY DID SUCK! I KNOW WRITERS BLOCK BIGTIME!!_**

**_BUT PLEASE REVIEW ANYHOW, HUMOR ME!_**

**_THANKOO _**

**_XX_**


	5. Chapter 5

**THIS STORY IS CURRENTLY ON HOLD.**

**DON'T WORRY THEY WILL BE COMPLETED AT SOME TIME. MOST LIKELY OVER THE SUMMER,**

**I HAVE MANY MY OTHER STORIES THAT IM CONCENTRATING ON.**

**SORRY!!**

**DON'T HATE ME!!**

**BUT PLEASE CHECK OUT THE STORIES THAT I WILL BE UPDATING:**

**Baby you the one:**

_Bella and Edward and the entire gang have been given one last project before graduation. How to look after a baby. Many disasters, trails and tricks happen! How can friendships survive this task?_

**I dare you:**

_Bella and Edward are roomies on a school trip. Hes the popular jock and she doesn't like his ways, but hes hiding a very big secret. Between the dares and scandals no wonder its the city that never sleeps!!_

**Almost Complete:**

_Edward and Bella have been best friends all their life. What on earth could push these two to see what other have seen in them? Edwards new baby daughter, that's what. What a shock to both of them. Bella's the best friends a guy could have but can she be a mom? Edwards a new dad can he cope?_

**_PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!!_**

**_THANK YOU SOO MUCH _**

**_CARLIE XX_**


	6. Chapter 6

To all my loyal reviewers/supporters/friend etc... I have not updated in 7 months months as you all know... my reasons being I haven't wanted to... my life has been crazy and just havent had time!! but now that my little girl is older i can write again. Shes doing well, thank you all for your wishes and thoughts!

now for my new start ive got a new account! ive decided to edit, re-vamp all my stories and re-publish them on my new page, i dont expect you to re-read them and re-review!! lol just to let you know!

I WILL BE FINISHING OFF MY INCOMPLETE STORIES ON MY NEW ACCOUNT!!!! there will be weekly updates!!

my new account is : http://www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/u/2232898/rhylee

THANK YOU! see you over there.... ;) xx


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